Thursday, 30 April 2015

Namaste, Muthafuka!

Oh Children! Ahimsa! Ashtanga! Chakra! Kundalini! Shavasana!
Finish up your poses my special little snowflakes, and come in for your mid-morning kimchi-kale and placenta power smoothies! Then I would like you all to think about tidying up your meditation room, its a mess! There are essential oils all over the place, and I don't know what you were doing with the yoga straps, but they should be untied from the chair.

Mummy has her bi-weekly lymphatic detox/high colonic/vaginal steaming appointment this afternoon, so I’ve organized some fun and educational activities for you all!

Ahimsa, I’ve arranged for you to sit and talk with a new special friend! Won’t that be fun! Dr. Billy wants to hear all about the experiments you’ve been working on recently – especially the “properties of fire” one. He will give you a letter for your school when you are done so make sure you put it right in your hemp tote bag so you don’t lose it.
Now, Ashtanga and Chakra, Daddy is able to visit with us sooner that we thought, because of his good behavior! Isn’t that great! He is going to take you to his doctor’s office. It won’t be long, he just has to gift them some of his hair, and maybe a container of fluid… then he will buy you both a special non-dairy gluten free ice-cream at the “horses running in a circle” park.

Kundalini, you have your organic material visual art lesson. I hope you will be finishing that large scale mural that you’ve been working on. I can’t wait to see it! I think it will look great hanging in your room, and will probably be big enough to cover all the holes in your wall.  You’re so silly - I still don’t understand why you were hitting the wall so hard! I hope you weren’t trying to kill a bug, you know we need to love all creatures that Mother Earth shares with us.

Now Shavasana….. Shavasana! SHAVASANA! Take those earbuds out of your ears sweetness! I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do. The weaving studio said that they haven’t repaired the loom from last time yet, and the farmers market has moved again. Funny, now that I think about it, they still haven’t responded to any of my emails about their new location. Well… yes…..I guess you can go to Nana’s house if you like…. No…. how would I know what medication Nana takes for her arthritis… oxy-something? I’m sure Nana would love to see you dear – just call her beforehand to make sure her Church group isn’t there, like last time.

Anyway, my darlings, finish up your smoothies – don’t forget the pulpy bits! That’s the best part! Oh! Mummy baked those cookies you all like so much! It’s the turmeric root that makes them so tasty!

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Dance like the whole world is watching... because they are.


Look, it’s not like we favour one child over the other, I mean, we love them both equally-ish…

Dexter plays hockey (if you can call it that) but honestly, he sucks. The cold hard truth is that he's so bad, it seemed wrong to even adhere the sticker to the windshield. I mean, I wish to god he was more athletic and better at sports, the way I was as a kid, but he's not. He is so un-coordinated, I sometimes find it hard to believe he’s my son.  I’ve told him that, you know - to encourage him, but so far, it hasn't worked. I think I have to keep at it though, show him my old hockey trophies, from back in the day, when trophies used to mean you were a winner.

But Emily? Now that daughter of mine has talent! I mean, I look at her and all I can see is DANCE!

The rest of the family just pales in comparison when we’re around her, especially her brother. There is a strength, a kind of boldness to her, but Dexter? No boldness or strength there I'm afraid.

It becomes really obvious when you compare the two of them to each other.