Oh – you want to know about my furbabies? Sure! I have plenty of time to tell you all about them, Denny’s early bird dinner doesn’t start for another 45 minutes, so I’m just waiting here in the parking lot! Funny, Animal Control was asking about them too, the nosy parkers. Who ever heard of “animal hoarding”, I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. If you want, I can get out the photo albums of my babies in their Halloween costumes?
So starting from the left, that’s Wags – he is a rascal! Chases after squirrels – its’ a real mess cleaning up all those carcasses and innards that are scattered in our backyard every spring!
Next to him is Whiskers! She sure does tease the dogs, we are always saying she is a real nasty pussy – My husband says she reminds him of me, but I don’t know why because I never tease the dogs.
Then there is Bones, sweet fellow, but don’t try to take his special lovey toy, that’s how I got this scar across my cheek!
Then we have Rover – spends all day sleeping and eating –now he reminds me of my husband.
Next is Spot, who thinks he’s a lap dog – silly boy bruised the Reverends crotch the last time he visited.
Snoopy is next to him, loves his treats, he does, always pulling the Depends out of the trash.
Then we have Miss Fluffy, who loves to go the groomer and be told she is a pretty girl – vain bitch… just like my sister-in-law.
Next to her is Tiny, who humps everything in sight – had to stop inviting the Church ladies over because of him!
Then there is Scout, who hasn’t been the same since we removed his testicles - poor thing. My husband says he knows how the dog feels, but I don't know what he means.
Next is Rex, who growls and barks really loud, but only at black people.
And finally Sparky, who we are legally forced to keep muzzled because he attacked the paper boy – I don’t know why his parents were so upset though, it’s not like he was a good looking kid to start with.