Friday, 27 February 2015

Theory of (d)evolution

Dollar store narcissism - gotta love it.

I'm going to start off by stating that yes, I do see the irony in a blog post complaining about narcissism...

Having said that.... 
I know you think you are so damn fascinating  that you feel you have no choice but to adhere vinyl replicas of your idealized family on your rear window, but the reality is that you are not. 
Unless you're driving down the road in this:
                                                                                             ...I'm really not interested in finding out any more about you. I already know you're driving your champagne coloured Dodge Caravan too slow. What other information do I need?

But no, you insist. You want me to really know your family. You want me to appreciate Moms love of shopping, Dads barbecuing skills and little Siegfried and Roi’s hockey and ballet skills.

This is your family, dammit! How can I not be mesmerized? How can I not be amazed? Inconceivable that strangers may not care about YOUR FAMILY?

Fine then, I can see you are determined to share your life with me - apparently just because I'm driving near your vehicle. Some are a little more discerning about with whom they share their personal information, but not you. Well then, why not really put it out there? Lets get the real story!

 I know mom loves shopping, but I want to see the sticker that explains why… is shopping her replacement for love? Does she only feel valued by the salespeople?
And Dad and the BBQ? I want the stick figure images that tell why he loves barbecuing so damn much. Is it that he feels an emasculating disconnect from his hunter origins?
And what about the kids…. What is their backstory…. Playing hockey to satisfy a parent’s unrealized dream, and thereby ensure parental love? I’m only getting part of the picture here, and I don’t like that.
If you're going to share your life - share it all, dammit!
.... or I'm going to have to.

1 comment:

  1. You just made me LOL even though I have a stick family on my minivan (not my fault! The kids made me do it!).