Thursday, 30 July 2015

Go Home! You're making a spectacle of yourself!

No, not related, silly, just members of the same club – this is our special events minivan. Care to join us - It's bowling night!

What you have here are the proud members of the Astigmatism Club - Eastern Region, North-Central sub region! We are a splinter group of the National Astigmatism Organization (those bastards) but are recognized under the umbrella of the Worldwide Ocular Disorder Association.

Allow me to introduce everyone - starting from the left we have Dwight. Astigmatism/Myopia he is a -2.00 +1.50 x 180, if you want to believe his profile, that is! Dwight is the club treasurer.

Next is Cynthia - +3.50 +3.00 x 45 with hyperopia. Cynthia is our social coordinator, and is a pretty good little line dancer! None of us can keep up with her.

Then there is Francis, a hale and hearty -4.75 -3.75x165 with bilateral amblyopia. He is in charge of membership. It’s thanks to his recent membership push that we are up to 6 members! Way to go Francis! Don’t worry, it's not you, he doesn’t really talk to strangers.

 Next to him is Denise, nystagmus with a family history of glaucoma, and is currently a -2.75 +2.00 x 90, although she has an appointment tomorrow, so “fingers crossed”. Denise is our Secretary, and if you want to see something amazing, come to one of our board meetings and watch her take the minutes.

Then we have Nathan. -1.5 -1 90/-3.75 -1.5 180. Yes indeed, he is a very complex fellow. Nate is our Past-President, our current Vice-President, and our resident computer geek! He really loves working on complex computer programs, even CSIS (or was it CSE? RCMP? I can’t remember) who questioned us, is interested in his work! Very impressive.

Then there is me – Susan, Current President, Past Vice-President. At the moment, I’m  -8.5 -2.75 18 with floaters. I met these crazy kids when they were protesting outside the Lasik clinic near me. I was going in for a consultation, and they stopped me, handed me some pamphlets and we got to talking. We think of ourselves as kind of a subculture, with our own inside jokes, and language. Why our glass cleaning ritual alone takes 30 minutes!

Oh! I almost forgot, our club “mascots”. Those are our 3 dogs, Rover, Mittens, and Spotty.
What? Sure they are, silly!

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