Thursday, 11 June 2015

77% of accidents occur in the home....


What’s all that screaming about? Stop shrieking!! Kids, goddammit! Be quiet, I can’t hear myself think!
How many times do I have to tell you - no sports in the house! Go play on the road! 
 It’s no wonder I spend as much time as I do at the mall, between the soccer balls hitting the wall, the hockey pucks slamming against the doors and your fathers table saw making a godawful racket sawing through who knows what, it’s enough to drive a person crazy. What is he making out there?? That damn thing is so godawful loud. Sounds like he’s cutting through bone! 
God – you go out shopping for a few hours and you come back to a house in bedlam! Complete and utter chaos!
And look at this place – it’s a frigging mess!! Equipment laying around everywhere, it looks like the house has been ransacked!! Why is everything knocked off the counter? And the bookshelf? What the hell have you all been doing? It’s those damn hockey sticks I bet, knocking pictures off the wall!
And what is all over the floor, it’s as sticky as hell! Is that mud?? Red clay??!!! Who used the nice guest towels to wipe that red clay mud off themselves?  I will find out, and you will be grounded! I’ve told you all that those towels are for GUESTS ONLY! This mud is tracked from your fathers workshop all through the house!!!! Who did this!!!!
It’s all over the walls! Who was spraying this all over the damn walls???
Where is your father??
Honestly – he really needs to try and keep it together when I’m out. I go shopping with friends and it’s like he loses his head!

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